Asking Your Partner for Kinky Sex

Introduction

If you are wanting to have more exciting sex, and you still need to communicate to your partner, you might be wondering how to initiate that conversation. It can be hard to talk to your partner about sex, especially when you are talking about things that you want to try differently or more often.

How do I Bring it Up?

It might be hard, but you need to bring up the topic of trying kinky sex in a neutral place before sex is initiated. This can alleviate any of the pressure midsex, and instead let your partner know that you’re just thinking about the new things that you can try to make sex more enjoyable for both of you.

If you are struggling to bring kinky sex up in casual conversation before having sex with your partner, try to take a questionairre together or play a game together that involves learning more about your sexual preferences. This can make it so the barrier surrounding sex is already broken, and you are instead focused on making your partner happy, and vice versa.

Tips for Talking

Be sensitive to your partner’s feelings, as they might start feeling insecure about the performance they’re putting on in bed, when in reality there’s nothing wrong with what they’re doing now, you just want to try something new.

That being said, make sure not to also make it only about what you want. Ask your partner if they have fantasized about anything that they’ve wanted in bed, and talk about the possibility of doing that in addition to kinky sex.

This also makes sure that your partner knows their fantasies matter too, and that they are being communicated with and listened to. If your partner wants to try something new in bed as well, maybe you can make a compromise so that you can both accomplish your fantasies while still not jumping out of your comfort zone.

You also need to focus on your tone when bringing up this conversation, because your partner might not be prepared for the topic and might be worried they’re in trouble or not doing well when having sex.

You don’t want to make your partner feel like you’re angry with them, or upset with your sex life now. This can turn the conversation into a different one, so making sure that you have a positive or neutral tone of voice can alleviate the stress of possible conflict.

While it can be difficult to talk to your partner about kinky sex, it can be beneficial for you and your partner to start the conversation slowly and confidently so that your sex can be the same. If you talk to your partner and find that they are not open to kinky sex, talk about alternatives so that both of you can feel satisfied while still gaining pleasure from sex in ways that you both enjoy.

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